Supposedly originating in the Mississippi Delta, the popularity of Kool-Aid Pickles is spreading. You can find them in red, yellow, orange.... all the colors of Kool-Aid, and kids love them. Just make double strength Kool-Aid, add sugar and pickles (cut lengthwise) and let it sit for a week in the fridge.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Numbers
60 - number of months we have been trying to become pregnant
6 - number of cycles I used Clomid. I cringe as I think of those days.
6 - number of times we did an IUI with Clomid.
4 - number of cycles we used hormone injections.
4 - number of times we did an IUI with hormone injections.
6 - number of HCG injections
1 - number of HSG procedure.
12 - number of times my man has had his "boys" tested or prepared for IUIs.
3 - number of fertility doctors.
4 - number of times I briefly went back on the pill to regulate my cycle.
What I learned in my doctor's appointment today - 2% chance of becoming pregnant on my own, need 1 test to check my egg quality, need 1 test to check my man's sperm function...again (since it has been over a year since his last test...the boys can change over time). If both are normal, 1 IVF is recommended. If both are not normal or better than "ok" or not "fixable", adoption is the next phase....no more injections or meds at this point unless it's in the IVF process. God's precious baby for our family might be through adoption, praying for His guidance. We feel at this point, IVF is the next step... but God is the conductor, not the doc. Highly likely I have endometriosis, but holding off on further investigation.
Countless - tears, negative tests, parking fees, trips to/from the doctor, shopping sprees to cheer up myself, blood work, mood swings, emails to friends, prayers, disappointing results, ultrasounds, wine with chocolates while soaking in a bubble bath, cleaning frenzies (I clean when stressed or sad) cysts and money spent.
I hold onto many positive things.
1 - I've never had a miscarriage. Bless my sweet friends who have had experienced such a loss. Praying Gods peace over you.
2 - I'm young.
3 - I have a child.
4 - Houston has great fertility specialists.
5 - Amazingly supportive and patient husband.
6 - Supportive and loving friends and family.
7 - I have not had numerous failed IVFs . So many ladies have had so much more disappointment.
8 - the list goes on, but the most important thing for me to hold dear is the fact that God is in control. He is bigger than any number or any percentage given from any doctor.
His grace, blessings, light and peace are poured out indefinitely. He promises those very things in Numbers.
Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."
6 - number of cycles I used Clomid. I cringe as I think of those days.
6 - number of times we did an IUI with Clomid.
4 - number of cycles we used hormone injections.
4 - number of times we did an IUI with hormone injections.
6 - number of HCG injections
1 - number of HSG procedure.
12 - number of times my man has had his "boys" tested or prepared for IUIs.
3 - number of fertility doctors.
4 - number of times I briefly went back on the pill to regulate my cycle.
What I learned in my doctor's appointment today - 2% chance of becoming pregnant on my own, need 1 test to check my egg quality, need 1 test to check my man's sperm function...again (since it has been over a year since his last test...the boys can change over time). If both are normal, 1 IVF is recommended. If both are not normal or better than "ok" or not "fixable", adoption is the next phase....no more injections or meds at this point unless it's in the IVF process. God's precious baby for our family might be through adoption, praying for His guidance. We feel at this point, IVF is the next step... but God is the conductor, not the doc. Highly likely I have endometriosis, but holding off on further investigation.
Countless - tears, negative tests, parking fees, trips to/from the doctor, shopping sprees to cheer up myself, blood work, mood swings, emails to friends, prayers, disappointing results, ultrasounds, wine with chocolates while soaking in a bubble bath, cleaning frenzies (I clean when stressed or sad) cysts and money spent.
I hold onto many positive things.
1 - I've never had a miscarriage. Bless my sweet friends who have had experienced such a loss. Praying Gods peace over you.
2 - I'm young.
3 - I have a child.
4 - Houston has great fertility specialists.
5 - Amazingly supportive and patient husband.
6 - Supportive and loving friends and family.
7 - I have not had numerous failed IVFs . So many ladies have had so much more disappointment.
8 - the list goes on, but the most important thing for me to hold dear is the fact that God is in control. He is bigger than any number or any percentage given from any doctor.
His grace, blessings, light and peace are poured out indefinitely. He promises those very things in Numbers.
Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."
Monday, March 29, 2010
Infertility is kind of like pickles and ice cream... sort of
I've decided to take the plunge and begin an "infertility blog".... so cliche. I'm just one more blog, among hundreds - thousands - regarding this very topic. I'm not a skilled writer, so you will see typo's (is that a real word?). I'm not a poet... and yes, I do know it. This is just free therapy for myself. It may confirm my insanity to my friends or help others realize they are not alone in this journey. I'm not sure where to begin. I really do hope to have all those weird food cravings. I would love to ask my man to run out at midnight to fetch me pickles and ice cream (do women really do that?!). Every month I hope to experience morning sickness, just to give me added hope that "I might be". I'm half joking about the weight gain, although it would be great if I could label the pooch "baby weight". Infertility can be so very sad, confusing and hopeless. God can replace those feelings with hope, faith and trust. Hope that a baby is in our future... however that child may come - natural or adoption. Faith that He is in control. Trust that His plan is perfect... so is His timing. This journey is a bit like pickles and ice cream.... salty, tart times mixed with comforting, sweet times. Only God can provide those sweet, comforting times.A sweet friend suggested spending time in Psalms.... one chapter at a time. His comfort and sweetness overflow.
Psalm 119:103 "How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth."
Psalm 119:103 "How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth."
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