Numbers

60 - number of months we have been trying to become pregnant
6 - number of cycles I used Clomid. I cringe as I think of those days.
6 - number of times we did an IUI with Clomid.
4 - number of cycles we used hormone injections.
4 - number of times we did an IUI with hormone injections.
6 - number of HCG injections
1 - number of HSG procedure.
12 - number of times my man has had his "boys" tested or prepared for IUIs.
3 - number of fertility doctors.
4 - number of times I briefly went back on the pill to regulate my cycle.
What I learned in my doctor's appointment today -  2% chance of becoming pregnant on my own, need 1 test to check my egg quality, need 1 test to check my man's sperm function...again (since it has been over a year since his last test...the boys can change over time). If both are normal, 1 IVF is recommended. If both are not normal or better than "ok" or not "fixable", adoption is the next phase....no more injections or meds at this point unless it's in the IVF process. God's precious baby for our family might be through adoption, praying for His guidance. We feel at this point, IVF is the next step... but God is the conductor, not the doc. Highly likely I have endometriosis, but holding off on further investigation.
Countless - tears, negative tests, parking fees, trips to/from the doctor, shopping sprees to cheer up myself, blood work,  mood swings, emails to friends, prayers, disappointing results, ultrasounds, wine with chocolates while soaking in a bubble bath, cleaning frenzies (I clean when stressed or sad) cysts and money spent.

I hold onto many positive things.
1 - I've never had a miscarriage. Bless my sweet friends who have had experienced such a loss. Praying Gods peace over you.
2 - I'm young.
3 - I have a child.
4 - Houston has great fertility specialists.
5 - Amazingly supportive and patient husband.
6 - Supportive and loving friends and family.
7 - I have not had numerous failed IVFs . So many ladies have had so much more disappointment.
8 - the list goes on, but the most important thing for me to hold dear is the fact that God is in control. He is bigger than any number or any percentage given from any doctor.

His grace, blessings, light and peace are poured out indefinitely. He promises those very things in Numbers.

Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."