I am Third

Three simple words: I Am Third. I was reminded of this instruction at our church kids camp. I went as a 6th grade girls leader. Wow, there are some amazing girls with big appetites for Him. I too learned a few things. I was reminded of my new -working on- way of thinking today. A sweet friend sent me an email with nuggets of wisdom from her own struggles with infertility. She wrote about the steps of her journey that she began a few years ago. I can relate with her heartbreak. Healing. Discovery. Pain. Growth. Sadness. Joy. I was reminded that for quite some time, I've been putting ME first. My pain, my loss, my dreams, my heartache.... One child from each cabin was nominated for an "I Am Third" award. These kids showed that they put God first, others second and themselves third. I had to get on my knees and ask for forgiveness because I've been putting myself first, my husband second and God third. I want what is "best" for me, for my husband and then hope it's His plan too. I've been far too consumed with getting what I want, when I want it.... I need(ed) a change of heart. It took a crazy week at a church kids camp to remind me of my weakness, my sin. I was reminded of the "addiction" (becoming pregnant) at church yesterday during a sermon, I was reminded today in a friend's testimony and I was reminded when I woke up this morning to the sounds of birds chirping. "Wren"... see the post below. God is putting too much on my mind and in my path for me not to grab onto the hope He is pouring into my heart. God is speaking to me! It sounds lovely and I want to put Him first. He has everything else under control. I just want Him. I want Him to show me what is best for me. I know it will be wonderful!

Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:37-40

Wait and hope for and expect the Lord! Psalm 27:14

Hello bloggy friends, I've been away. I think a break was needed, to prevent myself from reading so many other positive/negative blogs! I needed some time to just "be" and not get so involved with others around me.... and no, I'm not pregnant! We are still planning on doing IVF this year, but I think I'll keep that exact path private. We've made an appointment with a counselor to discuss the toll infertility has taken on us... emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. I can't wait!

God has "mysteriously" given me hope, in abundance. I woke up this morning with a song in my heart. I think He saw my tears for one too many days. I heard the name "Wren" a couple of years ago and always thought it was a pretty name for a little girl. I can see her sweet face already! Over the past several months I've become so burdened with the label "infertility" and the phrase "not pregnant". I was allowing this label to rob me of my joy, of God's plan. Although I'm still sad at times and need some help to work through my thoughts... the negative things swirling around in my head, I need to wait with expectation. Wait, hope and expect His wonders! "If we come to Him doubting His ability to speak, we will have a difficult time listening. So we must come expectantly"- Charles Stanley.

I woke up this morning and had all these thoughts running through my head..... this is what I sent my man at work:

"Wren" means songbird.

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - Emily Dickinson

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5

"The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches."
Matthew 13:31-32

Wrens have a beautiful song that is loud and full it has a excellent speed and vibrant tones which can last for 5-6 seconds and can be heard a kilo-meter away.

I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart, I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you, I will sing praise to your name. Psalm 9:1-2

Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly. 

Psalm 5:3

Wait and hope for and expect the Lord, be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. Psalm 27:14

I'm not proclaiming we'll have a girl and name her Wren, but the name and the meaning and the Holy Spirit spoke to me today and I thought I should share!

Congrats to all my bloggy friends on upcoming babies, I'm praying for those still on the journey..... He does hear our plea and He relishes our praises.

Singing praises of His goodness and I can't wait to give Him all the glory when He reveals His plan for our family.