I am Third

Three simple words: I Am Third. I was reminded of this instruction at our church kids camp. I went as a 6th grade girls leader. Wow, there are some amazing girls with big appetites for Him. I too learned a few things. I was reminded of my new -working on- way of thinking today. A sweet friend sent me an email with nuggets of wisdom from her own struggles with infertility. She wrote about the steps of her journey that she began a few years ago. I can relate with her heartbreak. Healing. Discovery. Pain. Growth. Sadness. Joy. I was reminded that for quite some time, I've been putting ME first. My pain, my loss, my dreams, my heartache.... One child from each cabin was nominated for an "I Am Third" award. These kids showed that they put God first, others second and themselves third. I had to get on my knees and ask for forgiveness because I've been putting myself first, my husband second and God third. I want what is "best" for me, for my husband and then hope it's His plan too. I've been far too consumed with getting what I want, when I want it.... I need(ed) a change of heart. It took a crazy week at a church kids camp to remind me of my weakness, my sin. I was reminded of the "addiction" (becoming pregnant) at church yesterday during a sermon, I was reminded today in a friend's testimony and I was reminded when I woke up this morning to the sounds of birds chirping. "Wren"... see the post below. God is putting too much on my mind and in my path for me not to grab onto the hope He is pouring into my heart. God is speaking to me! It sounds lovely and I want to put Him first. He has everything else under control. I just want Him. I want Him to show me what is best for me. I know it will be wonderful!

Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:37-40