Tears of....

Do you ever see a photo of a new born baby (a friend/family member for example) and just cry? Tears that yearn for one of your own? Tears that don't begrudge that baby or that mother, but they drop because you so badly want that to be you. Tears that drop because you don't know if you'll ever get  to be the mommy in that photo. Tears that fall because you don't know if those foot prints will be on your husbands scrubs. Happy eyes, moving along a computer screen... smiling at all that they see. Your mind is filled with letters, words, concepts and then you see it.... that precious gift of life, God's miracle. Cute button nose. Pink/blue cap. Sweet nursery blanket that wraps him like a burrito. Big Sister's proudly worn t-shirt. Mom's tired smile and tear-filled eyes. Dad's ear-to-ear grin and hints of nervousness in his eyes.... And within an instant the tears begin. I thank God for that healthy baby, pray over that baby's life and the family's future. I don't begrudge anyone the awesome gift. I'm not coveting that families blessing. I am blessed beyond belief as is! These tears just don't know any better. They have been conditioned, for the moment, they are sad and overflow. I know He has a plan and it IS the best. I think He understands our pain, Hannah cried to him often! Praying that He will dry tears as needed and replace them with His joy... in all circumstances and I will give thanks. Don't worry friends, I'm not wallowing in bed! I'm off to boot camp, but wanted to share for the moment...wiping tears away now. By noon I will be crying tears of pain while doing lunges!

He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of 
joy, carrying sheaves with him. Psalms 126:6

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I 
am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7