When are you guys going to start having babies?
You better hurry, your daughter is almost 10!
One time, my friend took this herb...
My cousin's friend' sister stopped eating...
I heard if you are on the pill for too long your body won't...
Oh, you just need more fish oil.
If you stop drinking caffeine and go to bed at...
Stop thinking about it.
God has a plan. (which He DOES)
Don't exercise so much.
Just take a vacation.
I had a friend that tried for years and after adopting, she got pregnant with twins!
Just adopt and you'll get pregnant.
Did you know that a rise in temperature can indicate ovulation?!
Take Robitussin.
It must be great to only have one. Are you sure you want another?!
You waited too long.
I've had 3 kids while on the pill, maybe you should get on the pill.
You are young, it will happen.
Man, waiting must stink, my husband looks at me and I get pregnant.
Stand on your head after...
Did you know there is only one day you can get pregnant out of the whole month!?
Don't take hot baths.
My eggs are good, I'd give you some, I don't need them anymore.
You might have.... I know someone that had that one time.
***
My God has made me in His image, I am woven just as He has planned. I pray He allows me to have a baby with my hubby. If not, He is still good and His plan is still perfect. His will be done. There is no rhyme or reason for me to uncover, His plan isn't mine to pick apart. He's got the whole world in His hands.... including me. Plus, I hate Robitussin, take plenty of fish oil and my eggs are just fine.
“For thou didst form my inward parts, thou didst knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalm 139:13
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Egg-cellent ... so what's the stinkin' problem?!
A couple of years ago, my man and I got some bad news.... "sperm donor". Enough said. We never imagined to hear those words. My husband is one of six kids, he has multiple... just 12... nieces and nephews. I always look at them and think about what our children will look like... big blue eyes, cute blond hair with some curls, melt-your-heart smile. After much prayer and God laying it on my husbands heart, he stopped dipping. Our doctor tried not to laugh as we told him our plan. He told us that sperm reproduce every 3 months and that we could retest after "no dipping" for 3 months. I'm sure he rolled his eyes as we walked out his door. We held onto faith and hope, not our doctor's "experience". We discussed the sperm donor option, but didn't feel that was the right choice for us.We discussed adoption and ceasing family planning altogether and to just enjoy the ray of sunshine we already have (T, my 9yr old from my previous marriage). Mainly, we sat waiting for 3 months. We waited for the toxins to leave his body, freeing up that "DNA Fragmentation" it had caused and prayed my cute blue-eyed babies would be released from those death grips and into my loving uterus. "Dipping" has been a struggle for many years for hubs and this was the time of all times to quit. He felt God telling him that this was that time. We decided to give that 3 month wait 2 extra months. Just for good measure. The next results made our doctor eat his words... or atleast feel ashamed of those eye rolls :) My soon-to-be-blue-eyed-babies were perfectly normal and ready for their safe little home in my tummy. Praise be to God. We don't know why He chose to allow this to happen, we pray that it's because He's preparing the way for our child. His will be done.
Today, after a 2 week wait, I found out that my egg quality - ovarian reserve - are of excellent quality. Praise be to God. Today is the day that we were told - IVF, adoption or nothing - are our options. Period. After all of our fertility treatments and 5 years of "trying" this is our final verdict. Praise be to God for his plans for us. I don't know what "option" we will choose, but what I do know is that God is in Control, He has a plan for our family, for the child and I know that the desire of our heart is for a baby, but His will be done. As I left the Fertility Specialist clinic today, a nurse told a lady "enjoy your pregnancy"... I so wished she was telling me that, but I prayed that God will bless that woman and that baby. After all, we are all His. Of course, I shed a few tears on the way home.... being grateful, thankful and a little sad that I wasn't that lady enjoying my pregnancy.
I don't understand why my hubby's DNA fragmentation became "normal" when the doctor's experience taught otherwise, I don't understand why all of my past fertility treatments (10cycles worth, $$$ and 5yrs later) were "text book perfect" and I don't understand why we are considered "unexplained infertility". I don't understand, but it's not my place to question His perfect plan. And I won't allow Satan to plant seeds of self destruction or doubt about my self worth anymore. I pray those blue-eyed babies make their way to my excellent quality eggs and conception occurs... implantation happens in a perfectly lined uterus (my u/s showed that today plus one ripe egg!) and God decides this is the cycle His child is conceived... this is how my baby-blue-eyes will come into my life! I don't know if that's His plan. If it's not His plan, I will take comfort in knowing that it's okay because I only want His good and perfect plan for my life. Sure, I will get upset if I see "red", I might even cry while I search for a stupid pad. I call all pads and tampons "stupid". I will sulk for the day and might even skip boot camp and grab a tub of ice cream for comfort. But, at the end of the day, I want what God wants for my life. I will just ignore the extra calories. I want what God wants for that child. I will fall asleep not knowing "why", but finding peace, joy and comfort in knowing that I am His child.
"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:17
“Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4
Today, after a 2 week wait, I found out that my egg quality - ovarian reserve - are of excellent quality. Praise be to God. Today is the day that we were told - IVF, adoption or nothing - are our options. Period. After all of our fertility treatments and 5 years of "trying" this is our final verdict. Praise be to God for his plans for us. I don't know what "option" we will choose, but what I do know is that God is in Control, He has a plan for our family, for the child and I know that the desire of our heart is for a baby, but His will be done. As I left the Fertility Specialist clinic today, a nurse told a lady "enjoy your pregnancy"... I so wished she was telling me that, but I prayed that God will bless that woman and that baby. After all, we are all His. Of course, I shed a few tears on the way home.... being grateful, thankful and a little sad that I wasn't that lady enjoying my pregnancy.
I don't understand why my hubby's DNA fragmentation became "normal" when the doctor's experience taught otherwise, I don't understand why all of my past fertility treatments (10cycles worth, $$$ and 5yrs later) were "text book perfect" and I don't understand why we are considered "unexplained infertility". I don't understand, but it's not my place to question His perfect plan. And I won't allow Satan to plant seeds of self destruction or doubt about my self worth anymore. I pray those blue-eyed babies make their way to my excellent quality eggs and conception occurs... implantation happens in a perfectly lined uterus (my u/s showed that today plus one ripe egg!) and God decides this is the cycle His child is conceived... this is how my baby-blue-eyes will come into my life! I don't know if that's His plan. If it's not His plan, I will take comfort in knowing that it's okay because I only want His good and perfect plan for my life. Sure, I will get upset if I see "red", I might even cry while I search for a stupid pad. I call all pads and tampons "stupid". I will sulk for the day and might even skip boot camp and grab a tub of ice cream for comfort. But, at the end of the day, I want what God wants for my life. I will just ignore the extra calories. I want what God wants for that child. I will fall asleep not knowing "why", but finding peace, joy and comfort in knowing that I am His child.
"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:17
“Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4
Monday, April 19, 2010
Blank
Sometimes only His Word is what I need. No clever stories, no uplifting epiphanies, no "wow" analogies. His Word is all I need.
The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."Numbers 6:24-26
God said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor 12.9-10)
The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."Numbers 6:24-26
God said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor 12.9-10)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
"Stop Obsessing About Fertility Already!"
999 Reasons to Laugh website said today:
"‘Please stop obsessing,‘ Your infertile brain screams at you after you have been obsessing about how to get pregnant for the past four hours.”You are hurting my mind already!”
Stop thinking how you once gleefully confided in a friend that you were thinking about trying and now two years later, she has a baby and you don’t. Stop remembering that day when your little cousin asked you for pregnancy advice and you happily advised her to start taking Folic Acid and now her son is one years old. Stop comparing yourself to all your friends and thinking that all of them babies and you do not. Stop feeling horrified that your friend, Connie (I-get-pregnant-on-my-first-try) Smith, just gave birth to her second child. Stop looking for answers on Google because it never tells you anything useful. Stop googling fertility drugs and side effects if you don’t want to know a scary answer. Stop logging onto Facebook and checking out photos of your friend’s not so cute baby and then feel depressed about it for the rest of the day. Stop taking the phone with you into the toilet just in case the fertility clinic calls you back. Stop running to the drug store to purchase Robitussin cough syrup because you read in the newspaper that it helps with fertility.
For the love of cervical mucus! Please stop obsessing and fill your mind with other happy positive thoughts. Start enjoying your life again and remember that life does not stop for infertility. Don’t keep putting your life on hold while you wait.
Sincerely,
Your Exhausted Brain"
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
"‘Please stop obsessing,‘ Your infertile brain screams at you after you have been obsessing about how to get pregnant for the past four hours.”You are hurting my mind already!”
Stop thinking how you once gleefully confided in a friend that you were thinking about trying and now two years later, she has a baby and you don’t. Stop remembering that day when your little cousin asked you for pregnancy advice and you happily advised her to start taking Folic Acid and now her son is one years old. Stop comparing yourself to all your friends and thinking that all of them babies and you do not. Stop feeling horrified that your friend, Connie (I-get-pregnant-on-my-first-try) Smith, just gave birth to her second child. Stop looking for answers on Google because it never tells you anything useful. Stop googling fertility drugs and side effects if you don’t want to know a scary answer. Stop logging onto Facebook and checking out photos of your friend’s not so cute baby and then feel depressed about it for the rest of the day. Stop taking the phone with you into the toilet just in case the fertility clinic calls you back. Stop running to the drug store to purchase Robitussin cough syrup because you read in the newspaper that it helps with fertility.
For the love of cervical mucus! Please stop obsessing and fill your mind with other happy positive thoughts. Start enjoying your life again and remember that life does not stop for infertility. Don’t keep putting your life on hold while you wait.
Sincerely,
Your Exhausted Brain"
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
He is a promise keeper
You say :
“I can’t go on .”
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26
"It’s impossible."
God says :You say :
“All things are possible.” (Luke 18:27)
“I’m too tired.”
God says :You say :
“I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
“I can’t go on .”
God says :You say :
“My grace is sufficient.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
“I can’t figure things out.”
God says :You say :
“I will direct your steps.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
“I can’t do it.”
God says :You say :
“You can do all things.” (Philippians 4:13)
“I’m not able.”
God says :You say:
“I am able.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)
“It’s not worth it.”
God says :You say :
“It will be worth it” (Roman 8:28)
“I can’t manage.”
God says :You say :
“I will supply all your needs.” (Philippians 4:19)
“I’m afraid.”
God says :You say :
“I have not given you a spirit of fear.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
“I’m always worried and frustrated.”
God says :You say :
“Cast all your cares on me.” (1 Peter 5:7)
“I feel all alone.”
God says :
“I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Project IF
Mel at the Stirrup Queens is working with Resolve on the new "Project IF". (Thanks for spreading the word, Amanda!)
This is on the agenda: "In other words, take out one of the “what ifs” that keep knocking around inside your heart, keeping you awake at night, and allow the larger community to commiserate, empathize and help you carry your burden by reading your words."
These are thoughts about infertility among thousands of women.... we aren't alone. Some of the "IF" quotes are sobering and some are comical. I'm not sure what my "IF" will be... "What if the 'baby's room' never gets to hold a baby". "What if my husband is never called 'daddy'". I'm trying to think of something funny, to lighten the mood, but I can't....
Here is the article:
Lord, help me to learn from and lean on Your faithfulness. Remind me that You will meet my every need and will never leave me, so that I may confidently place my future, all of it, in Your hands.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
This is on the agenda: "In other words, take out one of the “what ifs” that keep knocking around inside your heart, keeping you awake at night, and allow the larger community to commiserate, empathize and help you carry your burden by reading your words."
These are thoughts about infertility among thousands of women.... we aren't alone. Some of the "IF" quotes are sobering and some are comical. I'm not sure what my "IF" will be... "What if the 'baby's room' never gets to hold a baby". "What if my husband is never called 'daddy'". I'm trying to think of something funny, to lighten the mood, but I can't....
Here is the article:
Lord, help me to learn from and lean on Your faithfulness. Remind me that You will meet my every need and will never leave me, so that I may confidently place my future, all of it, in Your hands.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
Monday, April 12, 2010
We do not know what we ought to pray for....
Prayer. Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with what to pray for that you just don't want to pray? I experienced this today. It was not related to infertility. However, it did remind me of several situations I've experienced with the process. 1 Thessalonians says to 'pray continually'. Psalms 46:10 says 'be still and know that I am God.' Pray. Listen. I can admit it, I need to practice the art of being still and listening more often.
And sometimes I have "those days" or "that decision"....a heavy heart. Sometimes a heart is just too sad to form words. Sometimes the choices and decisions are overwhelming hard. To name 3 at hand....do we adopt, do we do IVF, do we stop all together. And my goodness, each of those choices require a thousand prayers of their very own! Overwhelming. Then, my mind gets so boggled with the "what ifs", "buts", "can't".... Then, on top of all that, I begin to... you get the pitiful picture. Madness sets in. It's not even hopelessness or doubting His miracles or throwing in the towel... it's just my mind gets so tired. Sometimes it's easier to just push everything aside and get back to it later. I don't want to miss that important "thing" to pray over. I put all the burden on my shoulders and become totally discouraged about the topic at hand. Sometimes I feel like my mind is like a little hamster, running around the little wheel... turning around and around, getting nowhere while becoming exhausted.
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
I looked for verses about hamsters, but couldn't find one. (that was a joke) Luckily, I don't have to carry the burden of knowing what to pray for when my mind and heart are too heavy for words. God searches my heart - Psalms 139:23. Jesus intercedes for us - Romans 8:34. And, the Holy Spirit "groans" on our behalf.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26
"The God 'who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit' and answers according to God’s will. Since His way is perfect we are always assured of His very best for us. 'We do not know what we ought to pray for,' but the Holy Spirit always knows, and God the Father will always answer His prayer." (Selah website quote)
And THAT, my friends, makes my heart happy.
"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee..."Psalms 55:22
And sometimes I have "those days" or "that decision"....a heavy heart. Sometimes a heart is just too sad to form words. Sometimes the choices and decisions are overwhelming hard. To name 3 at hand....do we adopt, do we do IVF, do we stop all together. And my goodness, each of those choices require a thousand prayers of their very own! Overwhelming. Then, my mind gets so boggled with the "what ifs", "buts", "can't".... Then, on top of all that, I begin to... you get the pitiful picture. Madness sets in. It's not even hopelessness or doubting His miracles or throwing in the towel... it's just my mind gets so tired. Sometimes it's easier to just push everything aside and get back to it later. I don't want to miss that important "thing" to pray over. I put all the burden on my shoulders and become totally discouraged about the topic at hand. Sometimes I feel like my mind is like a little hamster, running around the little wheel... turning around and around, getting nowhere while becoming exhausted.
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
I looked for verses about hamsters, but couldn't find one. (that was a joke) Luckily, I don't have to carry the burden of knowing what to pray for when my mind and heart are too heavy for words. God searches my heart - Psalms 139:23. Jesus intercedes for us - Romans 8:34. And, the Holy Spirit "groans" on our behalf.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26
"The God 'who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit' and answers according to God’s will. Since His way is perfect we are always assured of His very best for us. 'We do not know what we ought to pray for,' but the Holy Spirit always knows, and God the Father will always answer His prayer." (Selah website quote)
And THAT, my friends, makes my heart happy.
"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee..."Psalms 55:22
Sunday, April 11, 2010
"Top 10"...another stolen post
This is another funny blog I found. This entry is about distracting yourself during that dreaded "2 week wait" - from time of ovulation to expected period. Here is their (husband and wife team) entry from April 9:
"He said: Presenting the Top 10 ways to distract yourself during (another) two week wait!
She said: Number 10 – Start organizing that drawer that you otherwise would never touch. Or at least think about organizing it while watching a variety of TV shows that you would otherwise never watch.
He said: Number 9 – Send your partner to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard claiming that it could be a “pre-pregnancy craving.”
She said: What? It COULD be...we are still in the two week wait...
He said: Carrying on. Number 8 – Get the spring cleaning itch and go on a cleaning binge – using all- natural cleaners only. Convince partner that it is okay that you rest often since you shouldn’t push yourself too hard – but it’s totally okay for him to keep going.
She said: Number 7 – Consult Dr. Google at least 10 times daily to compare possible pregnancy symptoms.
He said: Number 6 – After consulting Dr. Google, consult ConceiveOnline.com, Twitter, and a variety of ttc and pregnancy forums as per above.
She said: Number 5 - Lament the lack of caffeine, alcohol, sushi, and all things that could be potentially dangerous to the baby that you’re potentially growing. Consider making ice cream its own food group. Hey, it has calcium!
He said: Number 4 – Start collecting pee sticks like they are a rare commodity. Improve your line examining techniques with abilities that would rival the best CSI.
She said: Number 3 – Consult Dr. Google AGAIN. For more symptoms, or disappearing symptoms, or symptoms that you heard you might get.
He said: Number 2 – Cross off the days on the calendar until Beta like you're counting down days till a big trip.
She said: And the Number 1 way to distract yourself during a(nother) two week wait is...
He said: You tell us! Leave your best distraction below! ......" Their readers left suggestions on the Number 1 distraction.
http://www.conceiveonline.com/he-said-she-said/2010-04-09-top-10/ | ||||||
|
She said: Number 10 – Start organizing that drawer that you otherwise would never touch. Or at least think about organizing it while watching a variety of TV shows that you would otherwise never watch.
He said: Number 9 – Send your partner to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard claiming that it could be a “pre-pregnancy craving.”
She said: What? It COULD be...we are still in the two week wait...
He said: Carrying on. Number 8 – Get the spring cleaning itch and go on a cleaning binge – using all- natural cleaners only. Convince partner that it is okay that you rest often since you shouldn’t push yourself too hard – but it’s totally okay for him to keep going.
She said: Number 7 – Consult Dr. Google at least 10 times daily to compare possible pregnancy symptoms.
He said: Number 6 – After consulting Dr. Google, consult ConceiveOnline.com, Twitter, and a variety of ttc and pregnancy forums as per above.
She said: Number 5 - Lament the lack of caffeine, alcohol, sushi, and all things that could be potentially dangerous to the baby that you’re potentially growing. Consider making ice cream its own food group. Hey, it has calcium!
He said: Number 4 – Start collecting pee sticks like they are a rare commodity. Improve your line examining techniques with abilities that would rival the best CSI.
She said: Number 3 – Consult Dr. Google AGAIN. For more symptoms, or disappearing symptoms, or symptoms that you heard you might get.
He said: Number 2 – Cross off the days on the calendar until Beta like you're counting down days till a big trip.
She said: And the Number 1 way to distract yourself during a(nother) two week wait is...
He said: You tell us! Leave your best distraction below! ......" Their readers left suggestions on the Number 1 distraction.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I do
I've been thinking about writing a piece about 2 word sayings regarding infertility. Infertile women hate this 2 word saying - "I started". Other 2 word sayings that are on the forefront of our vocabulary... "I'm pregnant.", "not pregnant", "didn't ovulate", "negative test", "positive test", "sperm count", "I'm late", "bad day", "egg quality", "blood work", "urine sample", "remove cysts", "support groups", "God's timing", "you're young", "it'll happen" ... you get the idea. I don't think I have enough clever material for the topic though.
Tomorrow is the 5year anniversary with my man! April 9, 2005. I am blessed beyond words with my husband. God gave me a treasure. For a brief moment I think about our wedding anniversary as our anniversary of trying to conceive. We dreamed about having a honeymoon baby. I know, some people don't understand that logic, but we had that desire. But, mostly, I think about how blessed I am that God entrusted me with this man. I am grateful for the father he is to T (my daughter from my previous marriage) and dream about the father he will be to our next child. I am humbled by the husband he is to me and the son he is to God.
This celebration is a great reminder that my marriage is the most important thing, besides my love for God. Infertility can not replace or hinder my special relationship with my man. Infertile women can relate, things get in the way. More 2 word sayings - "timed sex", "timed ovulation", "hormone injections", "mood swings", "swollen ovaries", "mental breakdown". Infertility and all the physical, mental and emotional stuff must not get in the way of our treasure. Sure, take a few hours or a few days to have the meltdowns (on a monthly basis as the case may be at times), but pick yourself back up and remember your partner, you aren't in this alone. Our husbands are with us. I think my man might need his own breakdowns just to deal with mine! Thank you God for the strength you give him when I am weak. Protect our marriage and give us the strength to keep it our top priority.
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Isaiah 40:29
We are officially celebrating our anniversary next weekend instead of this weekend. I happen to look at the calendar and see the dates and "counting days" for said weekend, I notice "I'm ovulating" that particular weekend. I DO
" My lover is mine, and I am his." Song of Solomon 2:16
Tomorrow is the 5year anniversary with my man! April 9, 2005. I am blessed beyond words with my husband. God gave me a treasure. For a brief moment I think about our wedding anniversary as our anniversary of trying to conceive. We dreamed about having a honeymoon baby. I know, some people don't understand that logic, but we had that desire. But, mostly, I think about how blessed I am that God entrusted me with this man. I am grateful for the father he is to T (my daughter from my previous marriage) and dream about the father he will be to our next child. I am humbled by the husband he is to me and the son he is to God.
This celebration is a great reminder that my marriage is the most important thing, besides my love for God. Infertility can not replace or hinder my special relationship with my man. Infertile women can relate, things get in the way. More 2 word sayings - "timed sex", "timed ovulation", "hormone injections", "mood swings", "swollen ovaries", "mental breakdown". Infertility and all the physical, mental and emotional stuff must not get in the way of our treasure. Sure, take a few hours or a few days to have the meltdowns (on a monthly basis as the case may be at times), but pick yourself back up and remember your partner, you aren't in this alone. Our husbands are with us. I think my man might need his own breakdowns just to deal with mine! Thank you God for the strength you give him when I am weak. Protect our marriage and give us the strength to keep it our top priority.
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Isaiah 40:29
We are officially celebrating our anniversary next weekend instead of this weekend. I happen to look at the calendar and see the dates and "counting days" for said weekend, I notice "I'm ovulating" that particular weekend. I DO
" My lover is mine, and I am his." Song of Solomon 2:16
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
"A single trip to the bathroom can make you happy or bring you to tears"
I found this blog article from the website below. Some are a little over-the-top... language and topic. But, some is pretty funny and pretty true. I think she just tries to bring some comical relief to the reader:
"The infertile is probably the only person in the world that can go into a bathroom and return in tears or leave doing a happy pee pee dance.
To normal fertile people, the bathroom is a place where you do your business and leave neither happy nor sad. To an infertile, the toilet experience can either make you or break you. You may walk into that bathroom stall happy and singing and come out with swollen eyes and a runny nose. You either (a) got your period (leading to extreme unhappiness and an emotional breakdown OR a little happiness if you hadn’t seen your flow since 1999 and joyful she has returned; or (b) saw traces of blood a week prior to your period and feel semi-excited/confused that it might be implantation bleeding; or (c) you have wiped clear which brings a private grin to your face.
And never have a co-worker or friend wait for you at the sink. You may go into the stall as her perky pal Patty but you are leaving as hysterical and hyperventilating Helen. And who really wants to explain to a co-worker why you just left the toilet in tears? You might explain as you blow your nose with toilet paper. Because with one trip to the bathroom you can go from no drinking, all healthy food, and no coffee to a bottle of wine, french fries dipped in alcohol, and half a pot of Joe.
Flush."http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/
"The infertile is probably the only person in the world that can go into a bathroom and return in tears or leave doing a happy pee pee dance.
To normal fertile people, the bathroom is a place where you do your business and leave neither happy nor sad. To an infertile, the toilet experience can either make you or break you. You may walk into that bathroom stall happy and singing and come out with swollen eyes and a runny nose. You either (a) got your period (leading to extreme unhappiness and an emotional breakdown OR a little happiness if you hadn’t seen your flow since 1999 and joyful she has returned; or (b) saw traces of blood a week prior to your period and feel semi-excited/confused that it might be implantation bleeding; or (c) you have wiped clear which brings a private grin to your face.
And never have a co-worker or friend wait for you at the sink. You may go into the stall as her perky pal Patty but you are leaving as hysterical and hyperventilating Helen. And who really wants to explain to a co-worker why you just left the toilet in tears? You might explain as you blow your nose with toilet paper. Because with one trip to the bathroom you can go from no drinking, all healthy food, and no coffee to a bottle of wine, french fries dipped in alcohol, and half a pot of Joe.
Flush."http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Yielding fruits in due season
"But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by the stream of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."Psalms 1:2-3 This does not mean immunity from failure or struggles. Nor does it guarantee wealth, health and babies. When we apply God's wisdom to our lives, the fruit we bear will be good and receive God's approval. message from bible footnotes.
"But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep. I wake again, because the Lord sustains me." Psalms 3:3-5 The assurance of answered prayer brings peace. It is easier to sleep when we have full assurance that God is in control of circumstances. message from bible footnotes.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 Be strong. Don't give up. In due season I will reap. It may not be "my" plan, but it will be his perfect plan.
"To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 God has a purpose, who am I to question his perfect plan?
"These things won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be filled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day." Habakkuk 2:3 (LB) God is never late.
“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23
The fruits of the Spirit...patience.... faithfulness... peace. I pray my fruits continue to grow. I could use some extra fertilizer during some seasons.
Nana's Garden
"But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep. I wake again, because the Lord sustains me." Psalms 3:3-5 The assurance of answered prayer brings peace. It is easier to sleep when we have full assurance that God is in control of circumstances. message from bible footnotes.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 Be strong. Don't give up. In due season I will reap. It may not be "my" plan, but it will be his perfect plan.
"To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 God has a purpose, who am I to question his perfect plan?
"These things won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be filled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day." Habakkuk 2:3 (LB) God is never late.
“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23
The fruits of the Spirit...patience.... faithfulness... peace. I pray my fruits continue to grow. I could use some extra fertilizer during some seasons.
Nana's Garden
Monday, April 5, 2010
July 18
What a great Easter, we had such a fun night reading about Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection with T. She loves digging deep, I found myself stumped on several questions! Good thing for God's word. After relishing in His word and being humbled by His life/death and T's questions, we put her to bed... now time for "mommy's reading".
I've been reading Streams in the Desert Daily Devotionals by L.B. Cowman for a couple of weeks. Last night, after much prayer of our fertility process, I began to read April 4, 5, 6.... I found myself skimming over the "daily" devotions. I was looking for the black and whites words that spoke to me, wanting them to jump off the pages to catch my eyes. I was hoping to read "SARAH, THIS is what you should do...". Ok, not literally, but figuratively speaking. Ok, no really, I'm a black/white person, I'd love to see His answer in writing. I stopped on May 1st and just laughed at myself. I thought "Sarah, you are missing out on all this good stuff as you skim over hoping to find answers". I may have skipped the "answers" because they weren't what I was hoping to read. I may have skipped the "answers" because I want to read what I would have them say. I was skipping over God's answers to everyday life... love, hurt, trials, beauty, forgiveness, hope, faith, trust, sadness, laughter, family, friends, etc... His Word is the root of life, all areas of life. Every word in the Bible is an answer... how to live, how to love, how to obey, how to listen, how to help His kingdom grow, etc. I am giving God the short end of the stick by skimming over the daily "things" in hopes of finding answers to my "fertility things". It's not all about seeking His wisdom for my infertility. Life is so much more. He is so much more. I want to seek Him... his love, his peace, his comfort, his mercy, his magnificence. I had to seek His forgiveness.
July 18 is the date I stopped long enough to let His voice sink in. "The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 2 Chronicles 16:9 "God is looking for men and women whose hearts are firmly fixed on Him and who will continually trust Him for all He desires to do with their lives. There is no limit to what God can do through you, provided you do not seek your own glory." God wants us to be completely devoted to Him, understand He is sufficient. He wants us to surrender our hearts to Him... not allowing our "things" in life to come before Him and Him alone. He wants us to fall in love with Him. He wants all of us, just as we should want all of Him.
My July 18th lesson will be one that I will hold as a reminder to seek His word because of my eagerness to be near Him, learn about Him and what He would have me do and be in this life... not merely because I seek answers for my infertility process. I know He wants to guide me and I will seek His guidance with each step, but it shouldn't consume my every moment in His presence. I will miss the big picture of life. I will miss the answers He is eagerly waiting to give.
For more on Streams in the Desert 366 Daily Devotional Readings:
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/
I've been reading Streams in the Desert Daily Devotionals by L.B. Cowman for a couple of weeks. Last night, after much prayer of our fertility process, I began to read April 4, 5, 6.... I found myself skimming over the "daily" devotions. I was looking for the black and whites words that spoke to me, wanting them to jump off the pages to catch my eyes. I was hoping to read "SARAH, THIS is what you should do...". Ok, not literally, but figuratively speaking. Ok, no really, I'm a black/white person, I'd love to see His answer in writing. I stopped on May 1st and just laughed at myself. I thought "Sarah, you are missing out on all this good stuff as you skim over hoping to find answers". I may have skipped the "answers" because they weren't what I was hoping to read. I may have skipped the "answers" because I want to read what I would have them say. I was skipping over God's answers to everyday life... love, hurt, trials, beauty, forgiveness, hope, faith, trust, sadness, laughter, family, friends, etc... His Word is the root of life, all areas of life. Every word in the Bible is an answer... how to live, how to love, how to obey, how to listen, how to help His kingdom grow, etc. I am giving God the short end of the stick by skimming over the daily "things" in hopes of finding answers to my "fertility things". It's not all about seeking His wisdom for my infertility. Life is so much more. He is so much more. I want to seek Him... his love, his peace, his comfort, his mercy, his magnificence. I had to seek His forgiveness.
July 18 is the date I stopped long enough to let His voice sink in. "The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 2 Chronicles 16:9 "God is looking for men and women whose hearts are firmly fixed on Him and who will continually trust Him for all He desires to do with their lives. There is no limit to what God can do through you, provided you do not seek your own glory." God wants us to be completely devoted to Him, understand He is sufficient. He wants us to surrender our hearts to Him... not allowing our "things" in life to come before Him and Him alone. He wants us to fall in love with Him. He wants all of us, just as we should want all of Him.
My July 18th lesson will be one that I will hold as a reminder to seek His word because of my eagerness to be near Him, learn about Him and what He would have me do and be in this life... not merely because I seek answers for my infertility process. I know He wants to guide me and I will seek His guidance with each step, but it shouldn't consume my every moment in His presence. I will miss the big picture of life. I will miss the answers He is eagerly waiting to give.
For more on Streams in the Desert 366 Daily Devotional Readings:
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/
Friday, April 2, 2010
Eggs
"The white Easter lily has come to capture the glory of the holiday. The word "Easter" is named after Eastre, the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring. A festival was held in her honor every year at the vernal equinox."
"The Easter Bunny is a rabbit-spirit. Long ago, he was called the "Easter Hare", hares and rabbits have frequent multiple births so they became a symbol of fertility. The custom of an Easter egg hunt began because children believed that hares laid eggs in the grass. The Romans believed that "All life comes from an egg." Christians consider eggs to be "the seed of life" and so they are symbolic of the resurrection of Jesus Christ."
As I was preparing Taylor's Easter basket, I decided to research the origins of some traditional Easter symbols -the white Lily, the Easter Bunny, Easter eggs- to discuss with her. I didn't realize how the "spring symbols" would collide with fertility... the birth of new life. Common sense I guess. Sometimes I lack such qualities. The most important lesson in her Easter basket is the death and resurrection of our Lord Savior, Jesus Christ. God sent His son, Jesus, to die for you and me. His blood covers our sin and His sacrifice allows us to have eternal life.
1 Peter 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead...
God has special reasons for not allowing the birth of new life in women, whether it be temporary or permanent, whether they are allowed a child through natural means or adoption or whether God has decided their lives are meant to be spent without a child. As much as some of those choices hurt, some type of peace can be gained by knowing He has given us eternal life. His peace can cover us, just as His blood covers our sins. After learning more about the Easter symbols of today's world, I will look at Easter eggs as signs of fertility... birth, new life. I will marvel in His creation of human life. I will be reminded that He has given me eternal life, rebirth. The Easter egg will remind me that only God gives life. Hope. Faith. Isn't it ironic that my egg quality will be checked in a few weeks? Praying for good eggs ;) A few chocolate Reece's Easter Eggs are always good too.
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." Romans 10:9-11
"The Easter Bunny is a rabbit-spirit. Long ago, he was called the "Easter Hare", hares and rabbits have frequent multiple births so they became a symbol of fertility. The custom of an Easter egg hunt began because children believed that hares laid eggs in the grass. The Romans believed that "All life comes from an egg." Christians consider eggs to be "the seed of life" and so they are symbolic of the resurrection of Jesus Christ."
As I was preparing Taylor's Easter basket, I decided to research the origins of some traditional Easter symbols -the white Lily, the Easter Bunny, Easter eggs- to discuss with her. I didn't realize how the "spring symbols" would collide with fertility... the birth of new life. Common sense I guess. Sometimes I lack such qualities. The most important lesson in her Easter basket is the death and resurrection of our Lord Savior, Jesus Christ. God sent His son, Jesus, to die for you and me. His blood covers our sin and His sacrifice allows us to have eternal life.
1 Peter 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead...
God has special reasons for not allowing the birth of new life in women, whether it be temporary or permanent, whether they are allowed a child through natural means or adoption or whether God has decided their lives are meant to be spent without a child. As much as some of those choices hurt, some type of peace can be gained by knowing He has given us eternal life. His peace can cover us, just as His blood covers our sins. After learning more about the Easter symbols of today's world, I will look at Easter eggs as signs of fertility... birth, new life. I will marvel in His creation of human life. I will be reminded that He has given me eternal life, rebirth. The Easter egg will remind me that only God gives life. Hope. Faith. Isn't it ironic that my egg quality will be checked in a few weeks? Praying for good eggs ;) A few chocolate Reece's Easter Eggs are always good too.
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." Romans 10:9-11
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Miracle of Life - God's fingerprint
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/miracle/program.html
the eggs journey, first 2 weeks, the embryo takes shape. God's process for conception is indescribable.Take a few minutes to check this out. We forget how miraculous the start of human life truly is. I'm in awe.
"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:1-12
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